As many prepare for the Thanksgiving holiday, I’m asking you what’s your code.
What is it that unlocks within you that makes you the person you are today?
I recently visited one of my favorite chicken restaurants and they were playing Christmas music.
Christmas music is one of my favorite times of the year because it only happens for a short time. Sure, we can listen to Christmas music all year if we want; however, it is a time when it sets or unlocks for me one of my codes.
I also realized this upcoming weekend within my faith the liturgical year will end this weekend.
The new liturgical year will start with Advent.
It’s a specific code within that helps me be me.
There is something special about Christmas music that unlocks different emotions that are hard to describe.
Each of us has our codes which help guide us throughout the year.
It doesn’t have to be tied to your faith, as one who also believes in adding value to others.
Every time I’m able to add value to another person, it unlocks those unwritten rules or principles that help me be accountable for my actions.
In the military, there were various codes, some spoken and some unspoken that I lived by each day.
One of the many conversations that I had while in the military was that once you walk out those gates and enter the Civilian world, there were different codes awaiting me.
Today, you and I can see how the COVID-19 Pandemic brought about various codes that have changed this world and how we operate in it.
We have also learned about the inception of Artificial Intelligence (AI). AI has changed how we operate even further.
Interestingly enough, my codes which are embedded within me have not changed.
What about you?
What I’ve learned is that people will be people.
There is a quote that says, “People who switch up depending on who is around them need to stay far-far away from me.”
How consistent are you in who you are representing to others each day?
Another quote is “Some people will walk all over you with the shoes you bought them.”
This is why I don’t buy shoes for others.
These two quotes are examples of codes and lessons I’ve learned in cracking codes.
Some of us can’t see it coming until it’s too late.
Today, I challenge you to think about the specific codes that help you operate in this environment as you deal with others around you.
What do others see when they encounter you and how do their codes line up with yours?
I always think it’s interesting that there was such a thing as “Black Codes” during 1865–1866 that somehow in 2024, has found its way into our lives.
Sometimes overtly and sometimes covertly.
You may have a different opinion, however, it’s my opinion. I know that when I travel outside my normal boundaries it’s the subtle reminder of my first quote “People who switch up depending on who is around them need to stay far-far away from me.”
Black Codes (1865) | Constitution Center
The late Jim Rohn says, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
Therefore, I would rather spend my time with people who have similar codes that match the behaviors I want to be around.
I’ll close on a positive note and tell you that there is a Third Option.
Not the award-winning Marriage Program that has been helping couples since 1988.
I’m talking about something different. The book by Miles McPherson.
The Third Option – Miles McPherson
Each of us has ingroups and outgroups which I learned from reading “The Third Option” years ago.
It has also helped me understand my specific codes.
Ingroups and Outgroups: How Social Identity Influences People – Effectiviology
Ingroup vs. Outgroup – What’s the Difference? | This vs. That
In ten days, we will celebrate Thanksgiving. How will your codes show up in adding value to others and what options are you contemplating this holiday season?
I grew up in the Far East, immersed in Asian culture, and later experienced Western culture. Asian culture is more restrictive, with a strong emphasis on discipline, while Western culture values freedom and encourages creativity.
My approach now is to blend the best of both worlds, adapting to the culture I’m in while maintaining reasonable discipline to fit the environment.
My children are grown, and I’ve learned to give them space, respecting their own values and perspectives rather than imposing what I think is right. They always include me in their activities, and I’m truly pleased by that.
Caroline,
Thank you for adding value to my blog today. I am aware of some of the cultures you mention and admire your openness. I believe that remaining discipline is the key. I’m sure that you are proud of your children particularly today.
McKinley
My Ground Zero is my code. It
is the solid foundation that keeps me centered and stable throughout the ebb and flow of life. As the McKinney stated People will be people. And I would add Change is the only constant. Therefore my ability to know my foundation, understand my strengths and opportunities for growth are the codes of my Ground Zero. So far it has served me well.
Valarie,
Thank you for your insights today. I remember using “Ground Zero” many years ago. We all need to understand what works best for us.
I like how you also said, “Change is the only constant.”
McKinley
Good evening CM, as always thanks for sharing and being vulnerable with your feelings and thoughts. For me, I would say that my code stems from one of my favorite scriptures, Romans 8:31 says, “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Full transparency, it has been more often than not, life has shown me that a lot of individuals (family, friends, colleagues) have not had my best interest.
Terrance,
Greetings to you. You and I are on the same page. Earlier this week I was just thinking about the words “If God is for us, who can be against us?” I need to go back and read Romans 8:31 now that you have put it in print.
Thank you for being open and transparent.
CM