As many prepare for the Thanksgiving holiday, I’m asking you what’s your code.

 

What is it that unlocks within you that makes you the person you are today?

 

I recently visited one of my favorite chicken restaurants and they were playing Christmas music.

 

Christmas music is one of my favorite times of the year because it only happens for a short time.  Sure, we can listen to Christmas music all year if we want; however, it is a time when it sets or unlocks for me one of my codes.

 

I also realized this upcoming weekend within my faith the liturgical year will end this weekend.

 

The new liturgical year will start with Advent.

 

It’s a specific code within that helps me be me.

 

There is something special about Christmas music that unlocks different emotions that are hard to describe.

 

Each of us has our codes which help guide us throughout the year.

 

It doesn’t have to be tied to your faith, as one who also believes in adding value to others.

 

Every time I’m able to add value to another person, it unlocks those unwritten rules or principles that help me be accountable for my actions.

 

In the military, there were various codes, some spoken and some unspoken that I lived by each day.

 

One of the many conversations that I had while in the military was that once you walk out those gates and enter the Civilian world, there were different codes awaiting me.

 

Today, you and I can see how the COVID-19 Pandemic brought about various codes that have changed this world and how we operate in it.

 

We have also learned about the inception of Artificial Intelligence (AI).   AI has changed how we operate even further.

 

Interestingly enough, my codes which are embedded within me have not changed.

 

What about you?

 

What I’ve learned is that people will be people.

 

There is a quote that says, “People who switch up depending on who is around them need to stay far-far away from me.”

 

How consistent are you in who you are representing to others each day?

 

Another quote is “Some people will walk all over you with the shoes you bought them.”

 

This is why I don’t buy shoes for others.

 

These two quotes are examples of codes and lessons I’ve learned in cracking codes.

 

Some of us can’t see it coming until it’s too late.

 

Today, I challenge you to think about the specific codes that help you operate in this environment as you deal with others around you.

 

What do others see when they encounter you and how do their codes line up with yours?

 

I always think it’s interesting that there was such a thing as “Black Codes” during 1865–1866 that somehow in 2024, has found its way into our lives.

 

Sometimes overtly and sometimes covertly.

 

You may have a different opinion, however, it’s my opinion.  I know that when I travel outside my normal boundaries it’s the subtle reminder of my first quote “People who switch up depending on who is around them need to stay far-far away from me.”

 

Black Codes (1865) | Constitution Center

 

The late Jim Rohn says, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

 

Therefore, I would rather spend my time with people who have similar codes that match the behaviors I want to be around.

 

I’ll close on a positive note and tell you that there is a Third Option.

Not the award-winning Marriage Program that has been helping couples since 1988.

 

I’m talking about something different.  The book by Miles McPherson.

 

The Third Option – Miles McPherson

 

Each of us has ingroups and outgroups which I learned from reading “The Third Option” years ago.

 

It has also helped me understand my specific codes.

 

Ingroups and Outgroups: How Social Identity Influences People – Effectiviology

 

Ingroup vs. Outgroup – What’s the Difference? | This vs. That

 

In ten days, we will celebrate Thanksgiving. How will your codes show up in adding value to others and what options are you contemplating this holiday season?