When did you last pay attention to your surroundings, and were you kind?

After September 11, 2001, or 9-11, many of us, myself included, paid closer attention to our surroundings when we walked into any building or restaurant.

It would be fourteen years later that out of nowhere, we were forced to pay closer attention in our churches after the mass shooting at the historic Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, S.C.

Charleston church shooting | June 17, 2015 | HISTORY

Have you ever had a moment where you asked yourself if only people could see what you see?

This past Saturday, I had such a moment or experience as I stood at the podium praying the Rosary before the congregation’s start of the 5 PM Vigil Mass.

It was a moment of reflection and gratitude, witnessing several years of being part of the church and seeing the same parishioners walk through the doors before Mass.

In most churches, people tend to sit in the same pews each Saturday or Sunday.

I am a Saturday Vigil Mass person and have primarily sat in the same area for four years.

As I patiently awaited my rotation with the other person saying the decade, my inner thoughts were, “I wonder if people could only see what I see.”

The opportunity to watch people entering through the doors and going to their specific pews brought me gratitude in various ways.

It all started when I noticed a very active parish couple enter the sanctuary.  The wife was escorting her husband, who was disabled, to find a seat to sit.  If only you could have seen the smiles on both of their faces walking in and sitting down and interacting with each other.

For me, it was the wife giving her husband all the attention he needed and the husband being grateful for his wife’s arm as she escorted him to his pew.  I would call it a badge of honor.

Too many times I’ve seen disabled people struggling, yet they grin and bear it, while others are oblivious to their physical challenges.

While seeing it from the pulpit, I had not witnessed that specific act of kindness until this past Saturday.

The genuine concern, boldly given that I’m here for you and that you are my priority, is what I felt,

I also intentionally looked at the facial expressions as I stood looking out.  It was something about the demeanors or their conduct of manner through the actions of those entering the church as each person found their way to sit down.

I noticed how some held the hands of their spouse or significant other while others honored their commitment by attending Mass.

As one who fully understands the concepts behind the book “The Starfish and the Spider” by Ori Brafman, I have an inside view that others do not have. I was trained for five weeks by the author to think, act, and operate more decentralized.

Mainly because many have never read the book “The Starfish and the Spider” or even know why only a few of us are trained in this concept. As Walter Brennan would say in The Guns of Will Sonnett, “No brag just fact.”

I thought about everyone there each week doing their specific duties to help make the church operate in a decentralized manner, myself included.

“The Starfish and the Spider by Ori Brafman explores the power and potential of decentralized organizations and their ability to thrive in today’s interconnected world.”

https://irevolutions.org/2010/01/09/starfish-spider-decentralization/

It’s hard to believe that almost 14 years ago, in October 2010, I was one of the few selected by the Army to receive training in these concepts and be taught by the author Ori Brafman.

After completing the course in November 2010, before Thanksgiving, my signed copy of the book is one of my prized possessions.

I count my Starfish training as a privilege and continue to use it today.

You and I pay attention to various things, and sometimes, what we need to pay attention to what is right under our noses; however, we can’t see it.

We’re too busy being distracted and are caught off guard when others find what we are looking for.

Today, I challenge you to take a few minutes and ask yourself if you are paying attention to your surroundings and being kind.

I also ask that you think about the various insights you’ve had this past week through the act of paying attention.

My specific insights, for example, this past week was seeing children growing up and watching parents beam with pride.

One of the Parishioners I serve with as an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion, who usually sits either in front or behind me, had their oldest son at Mass this weekend.

I’ve seen him before during the holidays and when school is not in session.

As I greeted the family, I asked, “Is this the West Pointer?”

The short answer was yes, and an acknowledgment that their younger daughter, who recently graduated high school, is now witnessing what West Point was all about as a first-year Plebe or a Fourth Class Cadet compared to her brother.

As I close, I must reflect on the wife who showed kindness in caring for her disabled husband.

In the military, we are taught and reminded that someone is always watching us without knowing it.  Therefore, our actions sometimes speak louder than our words.

As Bob Kerrey say’s, “Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change.

The Starfish training I mentioned today taught me kindness and changed how I see things.  Ori Brafman’s final comment to us before graduation was to be kind.

These are words I have never forgotten.  This past weekend was my reminder to be kind to others.