Today is the first day of May 2023; where has the time gone?

 

This past week I was challenged when I heard a negative comment.

 

Some people, regardless of the fact if you tell them something, they will deny it.

 

On the other hand, you and I are accustomed to those in our circle of influence with no filters.

 

My question is “Who has been your best teacher for you learning how to temper your words?

 

As I prepare this month for my 38^th Anniversary, many years ago, I learned the importance of the “Zip code.” The Zip code is knowing when to zip your month because it doesn’t matter how you feel, it’s how the other person feels.

 

Have you ever tried to respond to someone passionate about being right, knowing they were wrong?

 

I’m sure that’s a rhetorical question when you need to know the Zip code.

 

Many times, people ask me what’s the secret to my marriage.

 

The bottom line is the Zip code of knowing when you say something.

 

I use the Zip code whenever I’m in a situation, and I know the answer from the other person, or I must ask myself why I waste energy when I know they will not own up to it.

 

Does this resonate with you in a situation you have been in before?

 

The other equation to knowing the Zip code is preparing my mind for confession.  Grant it, if you’re not Catholic and don’t have a routine of going to confession, you might not understand the importance of clearing or examining your conscious.

 

I try and do this twice a month and have been pretty consistent for the last 18 months.

 

Because we are all sinners, it’s easy to say the other person made me do what I did or say what I said; unless you know how to counteract those individuals that are triggers within your life.

 

For clarity, I said it was easy, but I did not say it was right.

 

On any given day, you and I probably experience a range of emotions that range from Zero to One Hundred. We must figure out those triggers and how to bring that top number down on our blood pressure.

 

I’m not naïve to think that I can have every day as a good day. However, I try and picture every day as a good day each morning that I’m allowed to wake up.

 

We all experience excitement, uneasiness, frustration, joy, and disappointment.

 

Therefore, it helps me specifically how I must act when I’m in those situations.   My response to these events can vary based on my frame of mind and the circumstances surrounding each case.

 

As my mood changes, I know I’m experiencing an emotional trigger that sparks an intense emotional reaction.

 

It could have been recent memories, experiences, or an event.

 

I know that knowing your emotional triggers (and how to deal with them) is a critical component of good emotional health.

 

A few months ago, during the season of Lent, I conducted many reflections as I prepared for Penance and Confession.

 

Although going to confession requires us to admit to a priest how we have not been the best person, and we know we have sinned.

 

Every morning when you and I get out of bed, we can decide how we want our day to be by seeking the guidance of the Holy Spirit to live within us.

 

As a litmus test, I ask myself how Jesus would best respond if he were in that same situation.

 

I believe you already know the answer, which is why you must control your emotions.

 

Take a moment to understand your four temperaments and those individuals.

 

Four Temperaments: Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, and Melancholic Personality Types

 

Four Temperaments: Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, and Melancholic Personality Types | Psychologia

 

I have learned over the years not only being DISC Certified, that when you and I know who we are dealing with, we can better handle various situations that life throws at us.

 

Disc Certification for HR, Facilitators, consultants and Coach | disc partners (disc-partners.com)

 

I surely don’t claim to know everything; however, I know that preparation by always looking inward and asking for the guidance of the Holy Spirit works best for me.  I would trust that you would want to live the day best by treating everyone with dignity and respect while receiving the same back.

What about you?

What kind of preparation are you doing to temper your words when people with or without filters approach you?

 

I had asked earlier who your teacher was and how you learned to temper your words.

 

As you and I start this first week of May, the keys are always in your hands, and now it’s up to you to figure out what works best for you.